I’m not ready yet…

Some things in life you just get used to.

You get used to your daily routines, the people you are with and everything in between.  Three and a half years ago, when I began working from home my daily routines changed and my “people” I’m around all day changed.   Instead of co-workers, I got to be around my son all day.  And I have enjoyed every minute of it.  Well almost every minute, not the tantrums and other bad moments every parent has with a 2-5 year old.  But, we have been best friends for the most part.  He did go to pre-school the last two years for a few hours a week but that became the new routine and I always knew when I’d have him back to myself.

Since our recent move things have changed and although I’m extremely happy about them, I’m also kinda sad, or even jealous in a way.  Right off the bat he made a new friend with our next door neighbor.  Then another kid down the street.  Where we lived before we were out by ourself with no other kids around to play with.  Maybe that’s why he enjoyed going to pre-school because there he had friends to play with and act his age.  Now every morning he wakes me up wanting to go outside and play.  He will ask for hours if its late enough yet to go knock on the neighbors door.  Needless to say he is loving it here.  All day he’s either playing and hanging out with his friends or his cousins which have always been like his best friends even though we were hours away and didn’t get to see them much.  He had his first “non-family” sleep over and kids are in and out over here non-stop now.

As for me, I knew the time would come but I wasn’t ready for it to happen just yet.  I’m not his main prioity anymore.  He even turns me down when I ask if he wants to go to the store with me to play with his friends instead.  Don’t get me wrong, I truely do love that he has friends to play with and his own “people” his age to hang out with.  He gets to be that kid now and it warms my heart and makes this move feel right.  Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy not getting interrupted every five minutes while I’m working & the extra time my husband & I get alone together, but I still miss my baby.

It makes me realize my little baby boy is growing up and isn’t a baby anymore.

Boys being boys

He’s a little boy doing little boy things like having bike races down the street and nerf gun fights, playing video games that he doesn’t have to beg me to play with him, jumping on the trampoline and laughing and just having fun.  He goes and stays at his mamaws house with his cousins or at their house and when he’s away and I talk to him on the phone he sounds so grown up.  The last couple weeks I’ve stolen him a couple days and kept him all to myself, at least for a few hours each time to go swimming and to the park etc., things that I know he loves doing.

I miss my little baby, my buddy, but I’m proud of the little boy he’s becoming and looking forward to watching him grow.  If only time would slow down a little, that would be nice.  I’m not ready yet…