Twenty’s

The stress of being in your twenty’s. Everyone is constantly asking what you are going to school for or what do you want to be when you grow up. You feel the stress of bills and wonder what your doing wrong, trying to remember that you aren’t suppose to have it all figured out just yet. Questioning every decision you make because it’s more than likely going to effect your entire future.

Wondering why I ever wanted to be an adult? Learning new things constantly that I was never taught or even knew existed like escrow, home insurance, or that your fans should rotate counterclockwise in the summer and clockwise in the winter? That water isn’t free? I’m totally kidding on that last one lol.

But seriously, this shit is stressful. Trying to pay for college, life, attempting to save money, and trying to maintain somewhat of a social life and not drown myself with all these responsibilities all while trying to figure out where I should be in 5 or 10 years.

The point of this blog is basically just a reminder that you aren’t suppose to have it all together, at least not yet or maybe not ever? Sometimes we need a reminder that it will be ok, we are going to make it through the hard times no matter what. Look back and remember all the things you thought would be the death of you but here you are still breathing.

So take a breath, relax, and I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever figure out this life.

Out of Sight Out of Mind

I come from an extremely large family, 5 sisters and 2 brothers, I’m the baby of the family. My dad is number 10 of 12, yes you go by numbers when your family becomes this large.

My oldest sibling and I are 18 years apart, I was being born and he was moving out on his own for the first time. You can imagine it can be hard to bond with a sibling with such a big age difference. I guess I always thought this was the reasoning that my family isn’t very close.

We don’t call each other to chit chat, I’m pretty sure some of my siblings don’t even have my phone number, which is just weird right? I always wanted to be close with my siblings, as well as my mom and dad but that isn’t the case. We are all very different from one another. I talk to one sister regularly and another will call every once in a while. The others are absent from my life, as well as my parents.

I can’t remember the last time my mom called just to check up on me and see how life was going. I moved away from home 3 years ago and ever since then it’s been “out of sight out of mind” relationship with my parents.

Although it has taken a lot of time, I have finally come to terms with it. You can’t make someone care about you or want to be involved in your life. You also can’t dwell on it, so what more is there to do than move on?

Becoming a Better Version of Yourself

Over the past year I’ve grown as a person tremendously, I’ve become humble, happy, open-minded, I’ve stepped out of my comfort zones, and overall a well rounded person. With age comes wisdom, right?

I use to be a half empty person, ya know. My glass is half empty instead of half full. I’m past that, I’ve learned to live life with a smile on my face and positivity in my attitude. My heart is the purest its ever been and my intentions have never been better.

I wake up happy and go to sleep at peace with myself. I’m not saying everyday is a perfect fairy tale and I walk around 24/7 smiling because that is definitely not the case, every one has bad days, even bad weeks. But my point is that life is so short and I’m realizing that more and more with each day that passes, so why aren’t we enjoying ourselves? Why aren’t we being happy and doing whatever makes us happy?

Stop being a half empty person and create a new perspective on life! Stop taking life so seriously, get rid of negativity, never make anyone feel inferior, always be generous, and always be willing to give a helping hand. Good karma will reward you and you will be happier as a person.

“All Well” is always better than “What If”

This is for all the non-risk takers. Growth simply does not happen in your comfort zone. I’ve learned this time and time again.

It doesn’t matter if it’s something as small as trying a new food, riding a roller coaster for the first time, going somewhere you’ve never been, or doing that one thing you’ve always wanted to do but you were too afraid.

“All Well” is always better than “What If” in my opinion. What’s the worst that’s going to happen when you try a new food? You spit it out? All well, now you know. But deciding you hate it before you even taste it is where the problem begins.

Riding a roller coaster, maybe you’ll be screaming your head off but I’m sure you’ll be laughing about it on the car ride home. I have personally tried to find a love for roller coasters on multiple occasions but it doesn’t ever happen.

I’m not saying you should try things you despise but if you haven’t tried it, try it! You aren’t going to die, you will be fine, I promise.

Get out of your comfort zone, try something big or small! You have to start somewhere, right? Remember that you have one life to live and do you really want to grow old thinking of all the What If’s rather than laughing about the All Well’s?

Finding your motivation

Going to the gym everyday can become tedious, repetitive, and boring. Loss of motivation or lack of progress is the reason why most people give up on their goals in the gym. I don’t believe that everyone needs to be in the gym 24/7 or needs a 6 pack to be healthy, it’s all about personal preference. But I do believe physical activities are important. So for those of you that struggle with motivation to get to the gym, here’s some tips…

It takes 21 days to make a habit. I tell everyone this when they ask me how I do it. It sucked at first and  it took a while to see progress. I wasn’t overweight, I was more “skinny fat” and with being small already it can be extremely hard to see progress. I started with a 21 day goal because I knew that after day 21 I would of created a habit and I did. It then made it easier to get to the gym because it was more a daily routine such as brushing your teeth rather than a chore.  

Mixing it up. Doing the same repetitive workouts is only going to bore you and eventually create a plateau for your body. I am always looking up new workouts to incorporate and different ways to perform each workout. Get creative in the gym!

Keeping Track. I just recently started carrying a small notebook with me in the gym to keep track of my sets, reps, and how much weight I lift for each workout. This allows me to push my self harder each week. I was getting to the point where if something was heavy I would do the minimum but having it written down makes me push myself for that extra rep or that heavier weight.

Good Company. Go to the gym with someone that motivates you to do that extra rep or actually finish your workout with everything you’ve got. Avoid those people who constantly ask if you’re done yet.

Music. This is probably pretty obvious to most but sometimes you just need a pair of ear phones and an awesome Pandora station to get you through the workout, especially when you’re just not feeling it.

Go early in the day. This isn’t always possible but if it is, wake up and go to the gym! Don’t give your brain time to realize what is about to happen lol. If I wait until late at night I have to talk myself into going and I don’t always have the best workout.

Track the days. Having something as simple as a planner and putting a check on the days you go to the gym helps! Make a goal to get so many checks in a row.

Goals. Make weekly goals and smash them out. This will really help to keep you motivated. Also make long term goals, but know you have to reach the small goals first. Remember, everyone starts somewhere!

I hope these helped!

 

Deposits

When leasing an apartment you are almost always required to put a deposit down unless they are running some type of special. How many of us have actually received these deposits back? I never have, are they actually deposits or are they a here give us this money that you hope you’re going to get back but you never really will.

We always clean our apartment when moving out, thoroughly. The last apartment we rented, we cleaned everything to under the stove, the walls, the flooring, just to make sure we wouldn’t get billed for any nonsense.

At our apartment in Texas, we found out the day of moving that we were going to be moving. Mike came home from work that day and we packed our entire apartment into a u-haul and left for Virginia at midnight that night. Therefore we weren’t able to clean the apartment as well, but we are pretty tidy people. We clean up after ourselves and I tend to be a little OCD when it comes to cleanliness.

When we left Texas we of course received a bill from the apartment charging us for cleaning of the apartment, isn’t that what the deposit is for? This place was crazy though, they still billed us for living in the apartment for a couple months while I was living in Kentucky and my husband was off doing training in North Carolina.

I called them repeatedly, finally they figured out how could I possibly be living in that apartment when they are sending me the bill all the way in Kentucky? It is hard to fight these types of things from states away, maybe that’s why this always happens to us? They know all we are capable of is a phone call.

We have yet to receive a bill from our last rental but I am almost positive we will, if we aren’t going to receive our deposit back then use it for the cleaning you are going to conduct.

Every time someone moves out they send people inside to clean and repaint and whatever else it is that they do. So really that’s where our deposits go.  We won’t get them back, and we will be charged for cleaning even though we cleaned it thoroughly, it simply doesn’t matter.

My point is that it’s basically just a scam. They can bill you for anything and you have to suck it up and pay it.

Babies

I can’t count how many times people have asked when we will be having children or have told me I’m next to get pregnant. I think people forget my age because I’m married.

I love kids as does my husband, he’s amazing with children. We are both working on ourselves, trying to build careers, and learning who we are everyday. Of course sometimes I get hit with a oh my gosh that baby is so cute I want one baby fever but I fight through it. I know neither of us are ready.

There are so many factors that go into having children and I plan on being ready, as of this moment I am the last person ready to birth a child. I know you can never be 100% ready to have a child but being less than halfway there should be a sign.

I am so young and I have so much time! Does anyone else get butchered by family or friends about when they are going to have children?

Awaiting Our New Destination

With most jobs in the military, you get stationed at a destination for two years. But like I said, most. Of course, once we got to our first real duty station (Virginia). We found out that Mike’s (my husband) job requires 4 years at each duty station.

I was disappointed when we found out, I want to travel and explore. I feel like two years is a good amount of time to learn a new place and either love the area or hate it. But 4 years is just too long, for me at least.

We will hit our two year mark in about 2 weeks and I am ready to go! Most probably think we are crazy, considering we just bought a house here a little over a month ago. But trust me, we have a master plan.

Next year we will get to choose our next duty station for the following year and I’ve already started my research! It’s always a little scary moving to somewhere completely new but the thrill of it over powers the scariness. I think we are both open to anything really, whether it be overseas next or to a different coast.

Seattle, Washington is my top choice as of right now. But who knows what I’ll want a year from now, right? Of course we have to take into consideration, we can’t just go anywhere we want. It has to be available.

When my husband picked orders to Virginia, it pretty much sucked. There were 5 orders for Virginia so we basically got stuck with it. We were so excited to pick our first duty station, we wrote all of the options and put them in a hat and let Barron (our dog) pick one out, and what do you know, he picked Virginia. Lol I guess it was meant to be.

I think I’m just anxious for the next chapter of our lives to begin already!

Soulmate

I’m always moving somewhere new so I’m constantly meeting new people. The first question is always “where are you from?” I don’t know how they always know I’m not from the area, its like I have a label that only they can see. Or maybe it’s because I’m usually wondering around lost looking for something so they assume I’m new to the area. Whatever the case may be, the next question is always “why’d you move here?” I use to be reluctant when answering because I always get strange looks.

My answer is always, my husband is in the military. Some people say oh gosh, how old are you? Or others carry on saying that’s so sweet, you’d leave everything you ever knew for him. Lol I use to miss home, when this adventure of ours first started. I was young and I guess a little scared. (Not saying I’m not still young) The scared phase ended after 6 months, the home sick phase was over in about 9 months.

I of course still miss my loved ones but Evansville, Indiana.. not so much. I have big goals and dreams, I want to travel the world with my husband at my side. I want to explore and one day fall in love with a destination and make it a home. We have both grown so much together and we learn from each other everyday.

This man has literally changed my life, he has believed in me every step of the way. I’ve never had someone have so much faith in me. He pulls me back to reality when I stress about life. He stands by my side no matter what new crazy idea I’ve come up with. He doesn’t try to change me or push me in a different direction. He pushes to me follow and pursue my dreams.

I don’t know what I did to make this man stumble into my life but I am so happy he’s here every step and every obstacle of the way. I hope every girl finds a man that will do anything for her and treat her like a queen.

So here’s the bottom line, I may have married young but I found my soulmate. I found the one who makes me laugh, who makes me cry, who holds me when all I need is a good cry, who orders me pizza even though I say I’m on a diet. The one that will always be there no matter what.

We are young but whats better than experiencing life? Experiencing it with your best friend.

Toxic Relationships

Why is it that we put so much faith and trust in a person just to be let down? We confide in them as if they will be there when we need them, but are they ever truly there when we need them?

You know those people, the ones that say they’ll do something and then of course, they don’t. You tell yourself that you’ll never depend on them again.. but here you are again, depending on them and once again they’ve let you down. It may be something small or it may be something extremely important to you, it doesn’t matter how big or small. It’s the fact that you constantly think it won’t happen again and you believe in them all over again just to be let down.

Why do we do this to ourselves? There comes a time when you have to let go of toxic relationships, no matter how hard you are trying to make things work. Apparently that person doesn’t care enough, right? Why else would they constantly let you down.

It’s funny because when you finally cut these toxic people out of your life, they play the victim, like they never did anything wrong. That’s the moment you know your doing the right thing, they can’t see past their shitty ways as a person, so leave them in the past.

Trust me, it’s for the best.